What Your First Day of Class Outfit Said About You

The Gym Shorts and Baggy Tee:  

Okay so let me just start by saying that while we all wish we looked as casual cute as the model shown above, most of us just look like we rolled out of bed when we rock this one. All opinions aside If you’re wearing this on your first day of class your personality is most likely just as casual as you look! You’re breezy and probably one of the girls around campus I envy for getting away with wearing no makeup and still looking presentable. Although you probably weren’t super thrilled about classes starting back up… hence the bum chic look.

The Mom Jean Look:

Whether they’re ripped, baggy, or fitted congrats! You’re SO in style right now! These jeans show that while yes you care about keeping up with current fashion trends you’re also not a try-hard. You’re totally pulling off this edgy 90’s look and you know it. You’re probably studying a creative major like art or communication (yes communication is also for creatives). This outfit makes onlookers wish they could be as effortlessly cool as you. Kudos to you if you also paired these with a pair of retro glasses or Steve Madden boots.

Business Casual: 

You’re taking college very very seriously. You probably take perfect notes, have a super organized planner(and life), and were probably first in line at the career fair. We may not always admit it but everyone on campus wishes they were more like you. Don’t forget us after graduation when you’re incredibly rich and successful and the rest of us are begging for jobs and sleeping on our parent's couch.

School Spirit Vibes: 

You’re like really freakin excited about going to college. More importantly, you’re really freakin excited about WHERE you’re going to college. I’m going to go out on a limb here and say you’re a freshman. All kidding aside it’s great that you love your school! After all, you are paying an arm and leg to go there. You probably read your class syllabus front to back at least three times and are overly prepared for literally every class. But hey… It’s better to be over-prepared than underprepared. Also please get back to us after your first semester and you’ve considered burning your school spirit tee and dropping out.

70's VOGUE DIET

 I scrolled past this meme about fifteen times before actually deciding to do this experiment but being that it's spooky season and all, I figured why not fuck around and almost die doing this diet myself!  I did the math and the actual amount of calories ends up being around 800 per day. Here's how it went.

Day One: 
             

• Breakfast: I slept in until 12pm and totally skipped this. Whoops! 

• Lunch: Being that I skipped out on breakfast and slept so late I didn't actually do lunch until about 3:30pm, so basically when most people over the age of 60 sit down for dinner.  The eggs were okay but overall pretty boring considering that they were plain. The black coffee actually wasn't terrible! Maybe I'm a psychopath or maybe I'm just really that addicted to caffeine. Who Knows. I opted out of the wine because unlike skinny bitches in the 70's, I actually had things to do during the day that unfortunately couldn't include day drinking. 

•  Dinner:  Let me just start by saying that I've become quite the lightweight over the last few years. That being said I finished my bottle of wine for dinner and was too wasted to eat anything, let alone stay awake.

        

Day Two:

• Breakfast:  I'm pretty sure the whole idea of this diet is just to get so drunk throughout the day that you don't want to eat and then wake up so hungover that you don't want to eat. I definitely felt some type of way when I woke up after drinking a bottle of wine the night before on basically an empty stomach. The one egg helped to bring me back to life but the black coffee was getting old fast. I wasn't feeling my best but I had lost two pounds overnight. 

• Lunch: Is it just me or are eggs pretty much the most boring food ever.

• Dinner: I'm starving and wasted. Please help

Day Three:

• Morning: I am so over this diet it's unreal. Surprisingly I woke up without a hangover but unfortunately was still basically starving. However, I did lose another pound so overall a win.

• Lunch: Okay this diet isn't cute anymore and I want a burrito. I officially ran out of eggs and am just living off of wine. Some people might qualify this diet as the gateway to alcoholism.

• Dinner: This is the first night that I've actually been sober enough to eat. I substituted the steak for salmon because I don't eat meat but made up for the calories with (you guessed it!) MORE WINE...

   In conclusion, I've been drunk for three days and I never want to eat another egg in my life. If it's possible I think I may have od'd on eggs. I'll also be taking a break from drinking wine. LOL, who am I kidding I'll probably have another glass in like an hour. I lost a total of four pounds on this crazy ass diet but I think it's important to know that I also worked out every day. I don't recommend this diet to anyone that actually enjoys a healthy lifestyle but if you're cool with starving yourself for a few days to fit into your slutty Halloween costume then this is totally for you!